Kain and Juan
Coach Kain and Juan
Personal Trainer
Juan strutted in to the gym, trying to flash off his new dark blue muscle shirt. Juan was big! Juan was strong! Juan was the man! Juan was... self-delusional. Juan's inflated ego and self -entered worth were second-to-none. That was, until he met Kain.
Juan strided over to the rowin machine, stoping at every mirror he saw to admire his amazing physique. He flexed his admirable muscles making himself swoon. Eventually he mozied all the way to the actual rowing machines and situated himself next to a blonde haired Swedish aerobic instructer. He stared at her magnificent body longinly and waited for her to acknowledge his presence. She eventually turned her head to the side to see why such a slobish looking heathen was so intralled with her.
He flashed her with one os his big oafish smiles and said "Sex is good, verdad? But sex with me es incredible!" The instructer was instantly taken aback by this comment and proceeded to immediatly plant a forcefull slap within the cheek of Juan. One of the ladies nails caught the side of his face and sliced open his cheek slightly and left a small train of blood driping down the side of his face.
Juan responded with an "Ole!" Not quite understanding that the lady wasn't interested. The woman left out a quick sigh of disgust, shook the bad vibes out of her body and retreated to another part of the gym. The only thoughts in Juan's head though were "She wans me," and "Hard to get... just my style."
Before Juan could pursue the blonde vixon, a strong forcefull hand closed down on his shoulder. Juan quickly jolted on the rowing machine and fell to the side of the machine.
From his place on the ground, Juan stared up at what seemed to be a mountain to him. The mountain had a shortsummit but was full of many areas of inverted climbing and crevices. Surrounding the top of the summit was a thin layer of forest with a long barren meadow in the middle of it. A long jagged out cropping rock surrounded by brush and stuble surrounded the area, with two fire red ponds above it and a gaping whole of a gave with jagged white rocks protruding out below it. But this was no mountain... this was Coach Kain.
"Battle! I smell blood! War is upon us!" He shouted at the top of his lungs. The sound resounded and echoed throught the building, causing the very foundation to shake as if a low flying jet had caused a sonic boom.
"Que?" responded Juan with great fear in his voice.
"Speak English you heathen, lest you wish to taste the furious vengance of my blade!" Kain then motioned to the side of his black sweat pants where a long, rust handle was exposed at his side. Juan's eyes quickly dilated, shrinking to about a tenth of their typical size.
"Um, sorry senor, I mean sir, um, what do tu, I mean, you want?" Asked Juan, triping over his tongue in an effort not too lost his head.
"I?! I wish for battle! Iwsh to lead you to glory! I will show you the way to conquer the amazon beasts who have scarred your face and pride!" Kin the struck a pose, as if he'd just made some great speach and was awaint applause. All he was greated with though was a blank stare from Juan.
"Um, what?"
"war! Have you never heard of the battle of the sexes?1 Are you some sort of castrated dog?! You must order women around, not follow their orders!"
"What the hell are you talking about, muchacho?"
Kain leveled his eyebrows and clenched his fists, trying to keep his rage in tact. "I... will... make... you...a... warrior."
Juan stared at the man named Kain, and then quickly put his hand to his mouth. He needed too muffle his laughter, but he knew it to be futile. between laughs, Juan managed to say "You, hahaha, are,HA!HA!, loco man." At this point, Juan proceeded to fall into complete hysterics. Juan rolled on the ground clenching his stomach from pains of laughing so hard, unaware of the actions of Kain above him.
Kain reached to the handle at his side and whipped out a long well-sharpened schimitar. He quickly lifted up the blade above his head and let out a blood curdling scream. You dare mock m3! Ha! Prepare to die!" Kain quickly brought down the blade and narrowly missed Juan's blad head.
Juan, finally pulling himself together, noticed the long metal blade inches from his head. "Holy Mierda1" Juan screamed as he quickly crawled away on all fours. "You are crazy man!"
"Crazy? Crazy!? HA! would a crazy man butcher his familly for being unable to run a 6 minute mile?1 I don't think so! I'm simply motivated!" Kain strained his arm muscles lighting his blade unto his shoulder, as he slowly chased after Juan.
"Yo man, just back off. I don't wanna have to rough tu up!" Juan yelled as he retreated backwards, crashing into dumb-bells and stair masters.
"A challenge! Ha1 I acceppt!" Kain then took a fighting stance and moved his arms in a circular wave above his head. The motion of his arms built up momentum in their circular motion for his next blow which his mind was then calculating.
"WHAT?!"
"Prepare yourself, wretch!" Kain then let out a battle cry and charged forward with his blade propelling his body forward with a full out thrust.
Juan ducked under the blade, watchin as it wedged itself deep within the gym's wall. A cold sweat ran down Juan's face and a stream of urine clung Juan's leg and pants together.
At this time, Juan let out a scream of his own, this scream was far diffrent from the ones let out by Kain, though. It was a scream of absolute fear, like that of a 6 year old girl watching as Bambi's mother is shot.
After letting out his scream of comple and utter terror, Juan bolted through the gym and out the exit door. He didn't stop running there though. He ran down the street, across the park, and back to his grand-mothers house where he quickly bolted the door and ran to his room. He locked his rooms door, the closet door, and all the windows, then, just to be safe, he locked the bathroom door. Juan then proceeded to dive underneath his bed and firmly plant his thumb into his mouth. He chanted a prayer to himself as hears ran down his face. With all his might he prayed to whatever higher powers that be never to meet Kain again. However, the prayer must have only been heard by Saint Jude.
Meanwhile, back at the gym, Kain looked out through the doorway and into the distance. Something about the setting sun always stirred up new and interesting thoughts for Kain. As the last rays of sunlight beat down on his pale bald head, Kain contemplated over what he'd just seen. "He's fast," Kain thought to himself. "With my help, he could be the fastest, though." Kain then sheathed his sword and wlaked out of the gym, and started on his journy to Juan's house, and destiny.
The End
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